Things Never to Say to a Man with a Small Penis

Ahh, it's cute!
Stop fingering me and fuck me, already.
Why don't we just cuddle?
Wow, and your feet are so big!
My last boyfriend was four inches bigger.
Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh!
My eight-year-old brother has one just like that.
Let me go get my tweezers.
Let me go get my glasses.
This explains your car.
All right, a treasure hunt!
It�s like a penis, only smaller.
Why is God punishing you?
Let's just stick with your hand.
But it still works, right?
I think there's a dildo around here somewhere.
Let me know when you're done.
Are you cold?
Never mind, why bother?

Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard.

A man said to his wife, "Honey, what do you say that tonight we change positions?"

"Okay," she said. "You stand by the ironing board and I'll lie on the sofa and watch TV."

A rich lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her life so she placed an ad, which read something like this:

For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail, etc., all to no avail; none seemed to match her qualifications.

Then, one day, the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man with no arms and no legs lying on the welcome mat.

Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you? And what do you want?"

"Hi," he said, "your search is over, for I'm the man of your dreams. I've got no arms so I can't beat you up and no legs so I can't run away."

"Well, then," she said, "what makes you think that you're so great in bed?"

To which he replied, "Well, I rang the doorbell, didn't I?