It's doubtful that high school counselors will be adding it to their list of available careers, but more American women than ever before want to work in adult entertainment. Inspired by the crossover success of stars like Jenna Jameson and Raylene, a new generation of hotties is ready to go that extra mile (or, more likely, eight or nine inches) in front of a camera.

In its October issue cover story, adult industry trade mag Adult Video News reports that studios are "scrambling to sign the latest 'Next Big Things,' putting them in front of the camera and onto box covers almost as quickly as they arrive in Porn Valley (California's San Fernando Valley)."

This means plenty of fresh faces for the swelling adult entertainment audience, and plenty of sweeties from Sheboygan a-hoppin' on that magic bus to Los Angeles suburb Chatsworth, home of swimming pools, movie stars (porn, that is), strip malls 'n' strip clubs. It also means expanding the lucrative appeal of the "DP-with-the-girl-next-door" dynamic - something Playboy learned a long time ago is that it's great to see a slut get slutty, but even better to see the girl on the drill team get, um, drilled.

But clearly the girls get something out of it, too; semi-adequate compensation from the big studios like Wicked and Vivid, as well as the bursting feeling of pride in the workplace. AVN associate editor Steven Ochs writes that "when the new girls see someone like Jenna and how successful she is, it gives them a benchmark. It gives them something to strive for." Move over, Maya Angelou, make way for Anna Malle.

Fuck Ronald Reagan, one of America's genuinely important icons, Playboy publisher and Viagra poster boy Hugh Hefner has apparently become disengaged of his faculties and is presently blathering nonsense to anyone who will listen.

The New York Observer was listening, apparently, as it reported that Hef stated that he wants his magazine to "pull back a bit," (as opposed to "pull OUT a bit," which is not a recommended form of birth control) in the explicit nature of their pictorials. The aging lothario said he would like to restore Playboy's place as an essential element of a successful single man's lifestyle as well as a reflection of it, or some such twaddle.

Hef's statements dovetail with his magazine's decision to hire on ex-Maxim editor James Kaminsky in an effort to stave off the Mongoloids of competition (Maxim, Stuff, etc.) from the Great Wall of Playmates. Playboy's dwindling circulation has forced the company to diversify into video and Pay Per View options.

But Stuff editor-in-chief Greg Gutfield ain't buying it. "I don't know if you can go back," Gutfield said. "What are you going to do-stop showing bush?"

Please, please, that's enough heresy for one day, thank you.

Hollywood will try its hand at retelling the story of big-dicked porn legend John Holmes, with none other than former Batman Val Kilmer attempting to fill his, um, geez, I don't even want guess what metaphor works there.

But don't expect a fun-'n'-fuck-filled frolic with ready-made disco soundtrack. Instead, director James Cox will focus on Holmes' part in the infamous Wonderland quadruple murders of 1981. While ol' Long John was eventually cleared of all charges related to the slayings, after his death of AIDS-related complications in 1988, Holmes' ex-wife Sharon revealed that he had confessed complicity in the crimes to her in the weeks that followed the murders.

To make a gory story short, Holmes had conspired with some associates to steal a shitload o' coke and some cash from his drug dealer's house. Sounds like a wise plan, yeah? Nevertheless, the drug dealer found out, and forced Holmes to accompany him to his friends' house, where a bloody amends was extracted.

Man, Boogie Nights doesn't seem so bleak after all.