Fuck! That hurts!

I had just gotten my nipples pierced. Well, actually they were done a few days before, but they were still pretty sore. I was on a date with a guy I worked with and really, really liked. We had gone out eating and drinking, and I was a bit buzzed. We were back at his place and making out, kissing and stuff. He started to pull my shirt off (I was still too sore to wear a bra) when I suddenly felt this horrific pain coming from my nipples. I screamed and so did he. He had my shirt stuck on my nipple rings! Instead of just stopping and seeing what was up, he continued to pull on them, until they actually came out, ripping big holes in both of my nipples. They told me I'd have increased sensation, but I wasn't expecting anything like that.

Joan, Manchester, UK

Been Caught Stealin'

My dyke poetry group was on tour, and we had been driving for hours across the Midwest. There were seven of us in all, each of us with different color hair, nose, lip and eyebrow piercing, tattoos … you get the picture. We hadn't seen a rest stop in forever, so when we entered a little town with a 24-hour Safeway market you can imagine our delight. We all split up and walked around the aisles, grabbing eyeliner, tampons, soda, fruit, snack food. And, of course, we all went to the bathroom.

I was walking out of the store when a hand grabbed my shoulder. I jumped. It was a security guard who made me follow him into the backroom. He asked me if I was shoplifting. I said no, and I wasn't. He pointed to the bulge in my jeans and had a woman guard come in. She told me I could either pull out what was in my jeans or go to the police station. We had a show to do that night, so I just complied. I was packing! I pulled out a big strap-on, much to her horror. After that, they were quick to let me go.

Stacy, San Francisco, CA

Sex Toy 101

I had never had anal sex before, so when my boyfriend starting suggesting that we try it, I wanted to be prepared, so to speak. I had never been to a sex toy store and never used a sex toy before. I went to one and started looking around for something small to try out in my ass. I was looking at a small vibrator. The salesgirl asked me what I planned on doing with it, but I was too embarrassed to tell her, so I didn't.

I went home that night, lubed it up, turned it on, and gently slid it in my asshole. Before I knew it, it had gotten sucked right up my butt while it was still on. I didn't know what to do, so I called the sex toy store where I had bought it. The woman who answered told me that I should never stick something up my ass unless it had a flanged base because my butt would pull it right in. I got that part, I said, but what do I do now? She told me to go straight to the emergency room. I had to call my boyfriend to come drive me because I couldn't even drive with my butt vibrating! The emergency doctor was really nice. He told me that this happened a lot. I was still totally mortified.

My boyfriend was actually kind of flattered, and we ended up trying anal sex after my ass healed like a week later. We also went shopping for sex toys together, and he asked all the questions!

Melinda, Boston, Massachusetts