|
|
|
erotica  fictiongallerylifestyles fetishbdsmqueer/bi/transswingersfeatures news briefsarticlessexy spreadseros bits sound offtriviasexfessionsreviewsevents sf archiveslondon archiveslos angeles archivesnew york archiveslas vegas archivesinternational calendareros photo classified ads about eros ezine daily cartoon select different zine:
|
When Emily Post first wrote of "polite society," she wasn't thinking of the play space at Birmingham's Rapture. But just because people are running around naked fucking like banshees doesn't mean anything goes. Like other social venues, sex clubs have their own set of dos and don'ts. If you're new to the scene, it's wise to learn them, just as you would before visiting a foreign country. 1. Practice safer sex. If you don't already practice safer sex, learn before you go to your first sex club. Even if you are only planning to have sex with your fluid-bonded partner, the club may ask you to follow the same safer sex rules that apply to everyone else. Most sex clubs provide condoms, latex gloves, lube, saran wrap, dental dams, and other safer sex supplies. The general guideline for safer sex is to use latex barriers when you lick, fuck or suck, but these guidelines vary from club to club. Some clubs require latex barriers for oral sex, some don't. Most sex clubs have their own set of rules, which they post or hand to guests at the door. Read and respect the rules of the club.
Don't wear street clothes. Depending on the club, you may choose to go naked, wrap a towel around your waist, or dress up in frilly lingerie or fetish wear. Some people like to bring several skimpy outfits or learn the club's customary garb in advance so they don't overdress. 3. Ask before you touch. Before you touch someone, make sure you have his or her consent. If the person says no, accept no for an answer and move on. 4. Negotiate boundaries in advance. If this is your first time at a sex club, decide what you will and will not do before you go. You don't know exactly how you'll respond to this environment. You may surprise yourself. A lot of people get so turned on at sex clubs that they do things they wouldn't otherwise do. If you're going to a sex club with a partner, talk about your limits in advance. How do you feel about your partner playing with other people? Do you want your partner to ask you if it's ok? If one of you hooks up with someone else, do you still want to go home together at the end of the night? Whether you're playing with your partner or someone you've just met, don't pressure anyone to do something he or she doesn't want to do. If you have any doubt, ask. 5. Watch from a distance. A lot of people go to sex clubs because they like being watched. It's okay to watch as long as you stand back at least several feet and don't distract them. In most cases, it's better not to join groups who have already started playing. A group grope isn't necessarily a free-for-all. The group may have negotiated sex in advance and resent you jumping in. If they haven't invited you, keep a respectful distance and ask before you touch. Even if one person in the group summons you, make sure everyone consents before you join them.
Most sex clubs designate a place for people to have sex and a separate place for people to talk and eat snacks. In the sex space, you can negotiate sex, but don't disturb the people around you by making everyday chitchat. If you want to catch up with a friend, take your conversation to the social space. 7. Verbalize your desires. Some people prefer not to talk during sex, but when you first go to sex parties, it's better to err on the side of caution. A yes or no answer sends a clearer message than a nod or shake of the head. Besides, you'll have more fun if you tell the hot numbers you meet what turns you on. In some gay male sex clubs nonverbal communication is the norm. In mixed or women-only environments people tend to talk before playing. 8. The rules "ask before you touch" and "take no for an answer" hold sway after you leave the club too. Don't assume the hottie who hooked up with you at the club will want a repeat performance the next time you see her. Yes for one night doesn't mean yes forever. If she seems uninterested, don't pester her and try not to take it too personally. Perhaps she wasn't looking for a relationship or even a fuck-buddy. Although some meet their soulmates at sex clubs, many come to these clubs for anonymous sex or a one-time experience.
|
|
|
 |
|