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Bet you thought no one did this
I've always had this thing for orange phallic shapes. Well, to be exact, I just wanted to try fucking a traffic cone. I'm only 5'1" so I thought I would be the perfect size to straddle one of those babies and enjoy the ride. A good, dear friend helped me out by following a construction truck that had some fresh cones it was putting across the Golden Gate Bridge. So, one magnum condom later and I had my dream coming true. And it worked! It took a bit to adjust, but once I got going I had the perfect ride … until the damn thing was crushed from my pleasure. I always smile and wave at the "work zones" now! -Betty, San Francisco, CA, USA Now, that's sick. I was really sick for almost a year. I mean, really, really sick. I was throwing up daily and I felt really gross all of the time. I hadn't had sex in quite a while because I was so sick. Until I was on the Tube and I got sick. I was so embarrassed that I went running off at the next stop, three full stops before mine. A guy followed me out. He asked if I was okay. By that point, I was crying. Turns out he had emetophilia—the fetish of being turned on by vomit or by someone vomiting. He ended up staying with me for the rest of that year. When it started looking like I was getting better, we had to re-evaluate our relationship. We both have moved on, but he sure made that really hard year better for me! -Diana P., London, UK Something is really bugging me.
Remember that scene in Wild at Heart where the sandwich maker (played by Crispin Hellion Glover) puts a cockroach on his ass? Well he's exhibiting formicophilia: the fetish of bugs or insects, in a sexual way. I'll just put this out there—both my partner and I are into bugs. I saw that movie and wanted to try it for myself. So we caught a cockroach. I lay face down on the bed with nothing else on and my honey put the bug on my butt. It wasn't like in the movies at all. He jerked off while the bug crawled around on me but it wouldn't go in the right direction. Finally, he picked it up and put it back on my asshole. This time it tried to go inside! I rolled over and we put it on the other side. This was too much for my hubby and he exploded. Just in time too, our little buggy friend was about to disappear in me, instead he ended up drowning in a sea of semen! So it didn't exactly work out, but it was fun nonetheless. -Jane & John K., Minneapolis, MN, USA
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