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Highlights from the world of sex. For years, frustrated men insisted that the female orgasm was a myth. Now, one man is saying the inability to have a female orgasm is a myth. Or even worse, a conspiracy. In an article penned for the British Medical Journal, Ray Moynihan asserts that the condition known as female sexual dysfunction (FSD) is nothing more than a concoction dreamed up by researchers with close ties to pharmaceutical firms that would stand to gain from prescribing drugs to women "afflicted" with the malady.  According to Moynihan it all started in 1992, when the drug firm Pfizer held a survey of 1500 women, of whom 43 percent complained of anxiety in regards to sex. This figure, which Moynihan says was reached through "flimsy" methods, resulted in the publication of a 1999 article which reached physicians and women far and wide. Since its publication, many academicians have joined Moynihan in criticizing the report and its findings.Moynihan says that prescribing drugs to offset this anxiety doesn't address the core issues of each woman that may be contributing to it, and could in fact only make the anxiety worse. For instance, if a woman is anxious about sex due to a past trauma, shortcutting this issue through pill-induced arousal may only exacerbate the core problem. His insinuation of a conspiracy constructed by Pfizer in order to set the stage for upcoming "female Viagra" medication has been denied by the drug giant, which asserts that its funding of studies on female sexuality were at the behest of physicians seeking to address the problem of FSD. In all fairness to Pfizer, male sexual dysfunction sure as hell was no myth. And estimates project that medication addressing FSD might well eclipse the 1.5 billion dollars in revenue generated by Viagra and other male potency drugs. The question lies in the source of the varying dysfunctions. Conventional wisdom would have it that generally men's sexual dysfunctions are purely functional (as in erectile or the lack thereof), whereas in the case of women, sexual dysfunction usually has a deeper psychological root. These are sweeping generalities, and probably don't hold true with everyone. But if this is the case for women, Moynihan may very well have a point. And now for something completely different… I apologize for the complete lack of humor or irony in the above news brief. Those responsible for it have been sacked.  Now, I will attempt to inject some levity into the proceedings with this tale of bouncing, bulletproof, Brazillian boobs. Shit, you know there's mirth afoot when I start in on the alliterations.Jane Soares was minding her own business, walking down the street, when a gunfight erupted between local police and drug dealers in her native Rio de Janeiro. Soares tried to hide, but was shot in the chest with an errant bullet. An ambulance rushed her to a nearby trauma unit, where doctors made an astonishing discovery —one of Soares' silicon breast implants actually stopped the bullet from penetrating her body and piercing her vital organs. That's right, her fake tits saved her life! Well, surgeons put her under the knife to remove the bullet, and a plastic surgeon was brought in to replace the implants. The surgeon decided to give Soares a late Christmas present by increasing the size of the implants, much to the delight of the recuperating rack owner. "I'm twice happy," Soares said, "first because my prosthesis saved my life, and also because now I look even more beautiful." Chalk one up to questionable self-esteem. Still, it'll make a great story for her grandkids, don't you think? Priest has sex with real live human girl! A priest practicing in the Mexican city of Cuauhtemoc will not be sanctioned by his local bishop, despite the release of a videotape in which the vicar is seen, umm, "having communion" with his secretary.  The tape has caused quite a stir south of the border, where newspapers such as El Diario have displayed still-frame captures depicting Father Palma and his office girl in the grope. Palma has expressed regret for his actions, and has requested some time off to reflect upon his indiscretion (and not, presumably, to read The Thorn Birds).Ciudad Cuauhtemoc Bishop Juan Guillermo Lopez says he has opted not to punish or sanction Palma, due both to the time elapsed since the sinful act and the priest's heartfelt contrition. Hell, Lopez was probably so relieved that his local Catholic sex scandal hadn't involved the buggering of 10-year-old altar boys that he likely shook Palma's hand and sent him away with a case of Chilean wine and a copy of the new Playboy with Tia Carrera for his period of "reflection."
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