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Chocolate underwear & brown pants. According to a survey of sex shop owners, cherry is the most popular flavor of edible underwear. Chocolate is the least popular. "Chocolate underwear" - go figure. In the Aztec culture, avocados were considered so sexually powerful, virgins were restricted from contact with them. Hey baby, want a dip of my guacamole? Rowr!  Marilyn Monroe, the most celebrated sex icon of the 20th century, confessed to a friend that despite her three husbands and a parade of lovers, she had never had an orgasm. So, apparently blondes don't always have more fun.According to a U.S. market research firm, the most popular American bra size is currently 36C, up from 1991 when it was 34B. The boom in the Silicon Valley obviously affected more than just our pocketbooks. A man's beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex. That must be ZZ-top's secret. In earlier times, masturbation was believed to lead to blindness, madness, sudden death and other unpleasant diseases. Present research, however, shows no connection. We like to believe that a lack of masturbation leads to blindness, madness and sudden death. The female bedbug has no sexual opening. To get around this dilemma, the male uses his curved penis to drill a vagina into the female. Wow, I'd like to see the tool on him! Joke Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. The men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, and thus you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence, marveling at the courage of such a man.  The next morning, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" Once again, the battle was on, and the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.Later that day, however, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!"
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