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When word leaked out last week about an article in the upcoming issue of Rolling Stone concerning the phenomenon of "bug chasing," whereby young gay men intentionally seek out AIDS infection, to me there were two likely responses: Disbelief and/or outrage. Facts in the article are now being disputed, and as of press time, there was no clear indication of who had the right story, the piece's author or one of its sources, who now claims some of the data contained in the article attributed to him didn't actually come from him. So with all of these disputes flying fast and furious, I thought I'd hedge my bets and cover both the disbelief response and the outrage response. That way, if this RS writer is a hack and fucked it up, I'm safe, and if this is actually accurate, my self-righteous indignation can be duly noted, for history's sake. Disbelief As soon as local media began running advance press on the RS piece, what was sure to be a controversial subject in the first place became even more contentious, as issues of accuracy and attribution came into question.  The piece quoted Dr. Robert Cabaj, director of behavior-health services in San Francisco's Health Department as saying that "at least" a quarter of all newly infected gay men caught the virus by deliberately seeking out partners who are HIV-positive. Clearly, a disturbing and almost unbelievable statistic.And, according to Cabaj, completely false. In a letter to RS, the physician disavows using any specific percentage at all, let alone the 25 percent figure used in the article. Though he admits that the number is "probably more than people wanted to think," he has asked the magazine to run a retraction or "clarification." Cabaj also told editors that he found the term "bug chasing," coined by the magazine, to be offensive. While the percentage in the piece is pretty unfathomable, Cabaj's subsequent comments obviously beg a more formal survey of this equally unfathomable practice. Outrage What the fuck?! Jesus tap-dancing Christ, can this really be true? I understand how Dr. Cabaj can find RS' "bug chasing" term offensive. I'm sure, as a health practitioner, he finds the phenomenon itself to be even more offensive. I'll preface the following comments by saying that I'm about as far from a young gay man as you can get without being an old straight woman. Unfortunately, I am not young. As I live in the City, it would probably make my dating life more interesting to be gay, but alas… And certainly, as a 35-year-old man who still dresses like a skater kid in 1986, I don't even fit mainstream society's picture of a man.  But it's not like I'm not part of an alternative culture (I've chronicled my life in the drug subculture in almost uncomfortable detail, mostly in the San Francisco Bay Guardian, as well as the late, lamented, and still actively linked webzine Getting It). As a reasonably visible voice in that culture, I think I have one prime responsibility beyond "coming out"—that is, not to act like a jackass.Let's face it, once you get outside the happy, insulated bubble of The Castro, you realize that gays have a long way to go before mainstream culture stops marginalizing the homosexual population. Look at depictions in the media; like other minorities such as Hispanics and blacks, gay characters are still mostly seen as funny, non-threatening caricatures, because it makes it easier for bible-clutching white people in the heartland to accept them. Look at what happened recently with Jerry Thacker, who was nominated for a spot on President Bush's AIDS advisory panel. A Christian activist whose website features tips on how to "heal" homosexuals, Thacker was forced to bow out of consideration when quotes of him referring to AIDS as a "gay plague" surfaced in the media. It was great that he never made it near the panel, but how the hell did he get nominated in the first place? Because gays have a long way to go, baby. And while not every single individual is responsible to whatever culture they identify with (or they are identified with) in an absolute sense, it's hard to imagine that perceptions of hot, young, gay boys turning barebacking (unprotected sex) into some new thrill sport à la bungee jumping is going to further the cause in any great way.  Like young men of any sexual orientation, gay boys often feel immortal or invulnerable. I know a couple of Castro kids who were pretty horrified by the RS story, and yet, I know that like me, they have had lapses in judgment when it comes to safer sex. We've all shook our heads the next morning and crossed our fingers.San Francisco in recent years has experienced increased rates of HIV infection. Maybe it's from a misplaced sentiment that AIDS can now be managed, and isn't the automatic death sentence it was once considered to be. I honestly don't get it. Obviously, this can be attributed to unprotected sex, whether or not it's due to "bug chasing." Now it's time for me to wag my finger annoyingly—it's overstated by old bastards how young people need to learn respect, but here a good dollop of it would be healthy indeed. And surely AIDS still needs to be respected. Not the way you respect a wise elder, but the way you respect a hulking, ominous figure, lurking on a dark street.
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