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I have small tits. This has been both a sore spot and a relief for me. I know women who have such big boobs they have to wear a bra at night. I know women who can't walk down stairs without a bra on, lest they get a black eye. And I'm thankful that I don't have to do that. That I can run out of the house without a bra on and that if I don't have one clean, it's not the end of the world. But I'm still not entirely satisfied. I will admit that I wish my boobs were a bit bigger. I would never give up my slim physique for some bigger tits (and contrary to what you see on the pages of Victoria's Secret, those two things don't always go together); years of being anorexic in high school have left me unable to happily gain weight. So why not plastic surgery? Breast implants? Bigger boobs for a few bucks? No. I'm vehemently opposed to getting two silicone sacks implanted under my skin. One, I'm afraid of the pain. Two, I'm afraid of the long-term affects. I'm afraid of one popping, or leaking, or slowly deflating, or somehow the silicone moving into my blood stream through osmosis. I'm opposed to invasive surgery, to altering my body that much, to a lot of things. But to be honest, I'm mainly opposed to fake tits. I don't like the way they look. I don't like the fact that some tits look like you could use them as cup holders, that two perfectly round melons sticking off of your chest that don't move is just fucking weird.  But what I really hate is the pressure that our society puts on girls to be thin and have big tits. Like I mentioned before, this is physically almost impossible. Look at all of those skinny Victoria's Secret models. I know, those are the models that are labeled voluptuous, but guess what, they are still thin. And guess what else? They're all wearing push-up and/or padded bras. And sticking their chests out. And posed for maximum boobage effect.And… some of them have fake tits. Now I work in the sex business, so I see more silicone than most people. Or, at least I used to. Now, it seems that everyone is getting implants younger and younger. It's hard to be an all-natural woman these days. I was down visiting my sweetheart in Laguna Beach, in southern California, and I felt like the weird one. I swear that not only was I the only brunette in the whole town, but I was the only female that still had her real tits. I felt like a throwback to the '70s. Which brings me to my real problem with all of this —I was looking through older editions of Playboy, Hustler and Penthouse and comparing them to the magazines in their present form. One of the major differences was the lack of all-natural women who are now in adult magazines. In fact, they are such an anomaly that they have their own magazine: Barely Legal. Which is one of the top sellers, but still, now a niche. If little boys are experiencing their first jack-off sessions with blondes with fake tits and that's what they equate with a beautiful, sexy woman, then what's going to happen to them when they grow up? Is that what's happening now? Are the editors of Maxim, FHM, and all the other mags for men, simply boys that discovered the joys of sex among sticky page after page of fake tits? Is it because of this that women now feel that they have to insert silicone in order to feel like a woman?  You may laugh, but I'm serious. In fact, there are times that I don't always feel like a "real, adult woman" because of my breast size. I think small tits make you look young. I get carded for cigarettes still. People don't always treat me like I'm an adult (and yes, there may be other reasons for this, but fuck off). And I attribute a lot of this to my breast size (or lack thereof).In a few years are we going to see girls in high school getting implants? I mean, look at their role models for chrissakes: Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera? Sure, they're not walking coathangers a là Kate Moss but, come on, they still have way more body and boobs then most high school, or for that matter, most college girls. I don't know what it feels like to be a girl with big boobs. I don't know how that changes your body image, your self-esteem, the way you feel about yourself, and how others treat you.  I do know, however, what it's like to have small boobs. I think a lot of us overachievers possibly do that out of feeling inadequate because of our tit size. Not saying busty babes can't be that way too, but the majority of women I know with little to no tits work their asses off.I know that more women than men comment on my tit size and tease me. I know that because of it I feel like I have to outdo them in other areas of my life. So would getting implants change this for me? Would my self-confidence suddenly go through the roof? Or would I feel like a fraud? I don't know and I probably never will. Silicone society may just pass me by, but maybe I'll get more done because of it.
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