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The other night, I got a call from a girl friend of mine at about three in the morning. She was whispering and yelling at the same time, a rare feat in itself, but what she was so pissed about was something even rarer. Or so I thought. But boy was I fucking wrong. "He faked it. That stupid bastard faked it and thought I wouldn't know," my friend hissed. I, being an insomniac, wasn't the least bit asleep, but was still a fair bit confused. "What did he fake?" I asked, thinking he faked loving her, or lied about buying her a birthday gift or something.  "His orgasm. He faked coming. He didn't fucking come. He just thrust harder, grunted, said 'wow, that was good' rolled over and went to sleep.""Maybe he just came and went to sleep?" I ventured. "Nope. Uh-uh. I checked. He faked it," she said, confidently. "What do you mean?" I asked her, knowing the answer already, but not really wanting to, and having to ask anyway. "The condom. Once I heard him snoring I got up and looked in the condom. Empty. Not one single drop of come. Can you believe that? How am I supposed to feel? I feel like a loser. Like I can't make him come. Like I'm not good enough," she wailed. "The way most men probably feel most of the time," I giggled. She was silent. "I mean, most women fake orgasms at some point or another, right?" "I haven't," she asserted. "That would be lying. And he's a fucking liar," here she paused. "Do me a favor," she asked me, "before I kick him to the curb, can you find out if this is normal or if he sucks worse than most guys?" I assured her I would and we hung up. The next day I started my research. It turns out her lover is far in the majority. From various sexperts to men I asked myself, it appears that eight out of ten men fake orgasms. It also appears that within heterosexual relationships, intercourse is the only thing thought of as "real sex," and that climax is equal to ejaculation.  Fear of failure, common in both men and women, seems to be the reason for faking orgasm. If you can't come, than you must not be a man. In order to save face, men don't risk talking about it, they simply pretend it happened and move on. Most women, they say, don't check the condoms. And if you're not using condoms, then even better, there's no proof that it didn't really happen.Some men don't do it out of fear, but, as they say, out of love. They don't want their partner to feel as if she doesn't turn them on and fake it mainly to boost her self-esteem. Never stopping to question the fact that maybe honesty would boost it just as much. I personally don't fake orgasms. What's the point? If you fake it your partner will think he or she is doing a good job and not try to learn what you really need. Guys, I give you the same advice. Talk to your women. Tell them it's you, not them, and explain. And if it is them, then maybe it's time to move on.
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