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Are you as misinformed about SM as I was? Ask yourself this question. What's your vision of a Mistress? a) A big imposing woman with big hair, dark make-up, head to toe black leather and thigh-high boots that brandishes a riding crop, a whip and a sneer. b) A powerful attractive woman in a corset, PVC or latex outfit complete with high heels, a flog, and a cowering naked man under at least one of those heels. c) A strong and strict yet nurturing woman with a pleasant smile, a school mistress style of dress and a fantastic sense of humor.  If you said "c", you are obviously much more enlightened and at one with the universe than I. Because most of the advertisements I've read for Mistresses and Dommes go into excruciating (and I really mean "excruciating") detail about the different ways they can cause you pain, humiliation, torture, degradation, even more pain, etc. Bullet points usually include corporal discipline, cock and ball torture, electroplay, suspension, nipple and genital clamps, piercings, etc. Well, while this may float the boats of others, it all just sounds darned unpleasant to me. In addition, the Mistresses that I've met thus far didn't exactly strike me as warm folk. So imagine my surprise when I saw Mistress Morgana's advertisement, which features a tasteful and beautiful picture of her lovingly cradling her submissive. I had always been under the impression that a Mistress's job is to distance herself from her submissive and make them, among other things, crawl like a worm.Thus, when I saw Mistress Morgana offering her class on the fundamentals of spanking, entitled "Please, May I Have Another?", curiosity compelled me to pick up the phone and make that reservation. Hey, I'm not one to turn down learning valuable new skills. When I arrive at Good Vibes, one side of the room is packed with singles or couples. Everyone is dressed in street clothing, and the air is ripe with anxiety as people attempt to divert their nervous attention from each other to the table of toys, and what can only be described as the Wall o' Lube n' Sparkly Purple Dildos. This was a rather fun wall, but I digress.  The table itself is filled with a variety of toys for almost every spanking situation. (Remember, you can never be too prepared.) There are wooden brushes, paddles, a ping pong paddle, a ruler, leather straps, a braided flog-like toy, a pile of long thin canes, and a few kitchen implements and household items. As I ponder where I could potentially purchase one of those adorable little heart-shaped wooden paddles, our host announces that the class will be starting shortly once a few more guests arrive. The class had attracted more students then they were expecting. And after having taken the class, it's easy to understand why.There was no mistaking Mistress Morgana as she strode to the front of the large circle of chairs with her petite submissive, Stephanie. Morgana is nothing short of stunning at over six feet tall in her navy blue dress, neatly styled hair, seamed stockings and pumps. Stephanie's attire is equally appropriate with a school girl motif, complete with cute red plaid pleated skirt. Class is now ready to begin. "Haven't we all, at some point during sex, been completely compelled to just give our partner a good sound smack on the ass? Raise your hand if you've done this." Very few sheepishly raise their hands. Morgana smiles and nods, saying, "Oh, come on. Yes you have. We all have." Damn. She does know everything. After just a few minutes of listening to Morgana speak, it's obvious why her classes are so popular. She's witty, charming, and best of all, quite a lot of fun. And in those few minutes, she is able to transmogrify the room's palatable twitchy atmosphere from "I wish my chair weren't leaning against these Love Tubes" to "Hey, she just drew a heart on that girl's butt!"  Yes, indeedy, you read that right. Stephanie's bottom was our visual aid, if you will. College classes everywhere should be so lucky. With the help of Morgana's green sharpie, the lovely Stephanie and her equally lovely derriere provided us with a visual cue of the golden "spanking sweet spot." (And damned if Morgana hadn't completely filled in this green heart-shaped outline by the end of night. I kid you not when I say that the pale skin outside of the green lines was severely contrasted by the happy pink glowing skin in the shape of a heart, the result of two hours of Morgana's perfectly aimed strokes.)It was interesting to note that Morgana's entrance into SM was through spanking. And with eight years of professional SM work under her belt and thousands of spanked hineys later, Mistress Morgana really knows her topic. So here's where myth number two was dispelled for me. (For those keeping track, myth number one was that a Mistress must be distant and cold toward her submissive.) To me, spanking = pain. I grew up in a household where, when I committed a serious kid crime, the result was stinging spankings with big hands, wooden spoons, wide leather belts with hard brass buckles and the inevitable angry red marks on my butt, lower back and thighs. To say that I was a teensy bit apprehensive about spanking being erotic would be like saying that Manson sure was a nutty guy. But Morgana stresses something important that pretty much set me at ease and also blew away my whole perception of SM. Her example illustrates it perfectly. "It's not about pain. No one ever got erect stubbing their toe." SM is not about pain, but about pleasure. It focuses on power play and trust. And because everyone in a sexual relationship involves some sort of power play, each person falls somewhere into that sexual spectrum. This means everyone has a certain level of kink. "SM is the Palmolive of sex - we're all soaking in it. Whether we want to admit it or not, we are all engaging in power play when we have sex."  Morgana begins the first portion of our lesson with the "warmup." Stephanie, also affectionately known as "girlie", bends obediently over Morgana's knee and stretches out across a fluffy pillow. Morgana proceeds to lightly and rhythmically spank within each side of the lil' green heart, warming Stephanie up and gradually increasing intensity. As Morgana administers each soft swat, she tells us about the importance of practicing aim and technique, and that spanking, when done correctly, can be done for hours.She smiles slyly as she quips, "Some people knit or crochet in front of the TV for hours. I like to spank." The idea that my butt could be warmed up to a spanking was also kind of a shocker. Once again, there was no "Don't make me come over there and warm you up!" in my house. Morgana was definitely helping me start thinking outside of the spanking box. As the class progressed to spanking techniques with different toys, I was fascinated by everything I was learning. Toys on the table that looked fairly harmless, like the afore-mentioned heart paddle, actually pack more of a wallop than say, a ping pong paddle. Why? The ping pong paddle is so thin and light, it provides for more sound than impact. But the little wooden heart paddle is heavy, dense and small, giving you less surface area and more power per smack than you may realize.  Toys of all kinds were demonstrated and passed around for perusal, from fancy specialty made items to homemade toys and common household stuff. My favorite toy? The "Spoonula" from Williams-Sonoma. But for more on that, you should check out Morgana's women-only class coming up in April, "Supermarket Sadomasochism."All manner of spanking was covered, from painless vanilla sex spankings to corporal caning techniques; there was something for everyone. All the while Stephanie provided excellent feedback for us all, demonstrating how she felt to both her Mistress and her captive audience. When Morgana slid an arm around Stephanie's waist and provided her with an especially hard swat to the sweet spot, the resulting "Ohhhh! Ahhhhhhh…" complete with arching back, an appreciative squeeze to Morgana's ankle and near purring made this writer think that Stephanie really appreciates a good wooden paddle. And then there was the moment when Morgana pulled out a thin cane and gave Stephanie's rear a solid "thwap." I can safely say that I was not the only one in the classroom that empathetically found that to be a "butt-clenching moment." But a moment after the sound had reverberated throughout the room and as we all held our breath, Stephanie's resounding "OHHHHHHHHHhhhh" and appreciative relaxed grin let us all know that caning is more than OK in her books. And Morgana smiled at our obviously pale pallor saying, "Look at all your faces!" Stephanie couldn't help but giggle. Throughout the class, Morgana continued to assure us that touch and sensuality is important. For each thwack to Stephanie's backside, Morgana's other hand was usually found playfully pulling Stephanie's hair, sensually rubbing her back and body, or entwined around Stephanie's waist. Morgana really changed my views of SM. She was polite, sensual, loving and strict with her sub, always touching her and being nurturing while still dominating the situation.  I was sad when 10pm rolled around so quickly, and that Morgana didn't have enough time to go into the accompanying roleplay and fantasy discussion.Before taking this class, I didn't realize that spanking could be so intimate and sensual. I count myself fortunate to have found an absolutely fantastic lover, so I have no complaints whatsoever. But after having taken this class, I feel as if a door to new possibilities was thrown open. And all in all, I deeply appreciated Morgana's message about acceptance of all levels of sexuality. In her commanding and sex savvy presence, I walked in feeling that if I were any more vanilla, I'd be an ice cream cone. But her message is clear; everyone is a little bit kinky. You've just got to find what makes you happy and go with it. Without giving away too much (because I do stress that you absolutely must take this class yourself), I'll leave you with a couple of Morgana's handy-dandy tips: a) Arnica is an odorless colorless gel or ointment which helps speed up the healing of bruises. Wouldn't we all like to have used this instead of that stupid cold spoon on the hickey" method, which by the way, never worked. b) If you're afraid of bruising, try a bag of frozen peas. They conform to the shape of the body. c) Aim is important, so take the time to practice on your couch cushions. As Mistress Morgana says, "your furniture won't break up with you if you do it wrong." If you just can't wait for her next class, pop on down to a Good Vibes near you and pick up your own copy of Morgana's video, "Whipsmart: A Good Vibrations Guide to Beginning S&M for Couples." You can also get more information on everything Morgana at her website www.mistressmorgana.com.
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