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When I first sat down to check out the pilot episode of Showtime's new reality series, Family Business, centered around the life of porn star Seymore Butts, I have to admit it was from a position of doubt and trepidation.  Sure, the concept was gold—follow Butts and his alter ego, mild-mannered Adam Glasser, along on their adventures both on and off-camera. Throw in the added schtick of Glasser's mom and his cousin, who help him run his business affairs, and it might be hard to fuck it up.Still, in all honesty, there's concern over how long and how far the whole reality TV concept can go. And that's coming from a fan of everything from Survivor to The Fifth Wheel (although this show has admittedly suffered since the departure of hottie Aisha Tyler). And it's hard to not be suspicious of a show that's so obviously "inspired" (ahem… ripped off) by MTV's The Osbournes. That was before I met Cousin Stevie. Oops, I got ahead of myself there. More about this mook in a minute. I've been working in various aspects of the adult entertainment business for almost seven years, and have interacted with adult performers in various forms, both social and professional, so it's no big revelation to me that they are "normal" people, or as normal as normal people can be. And given the mainstreaming of adult entertainment in the past few years, it's hard for me to imagine that anyone but the most clueless would still think of them as shady pervs or scumbags or drug addicts or all of the above.  So a little bit of Glasser driving around and picking up McDonald's with his son (whom he sees on a visitation basis) in his SUV goes a long way with me. I'm sure this insight informs those clueless individuals described above, and gives what happens later some context, though, so I understand the producers' wish to relay this aspect of his life to viewers.We discover that Glasser is an affable, charming doof of a guy who's kind of a momma's boy. He frets over an impending high school reunion, especially how others will perceive him. The irony is thick as the bachelor, who's made over 70 adult films and probably procures more poontang in a fortnight than I might in a lifetime, struggles to dress himself (in vain) and wishes a female were there to help him. This is all well and good, but if this had been the focus of the series, it would have been as interesting as watching someone watching C-SPAN on a handful of oxycodone.  Enter Glasser's cousin, Stevie.Showtime's website calls Stevie "cantankerous." I don't know about that. I would say that he's more like some guy from Philly named Moose or Guido who might pay a little visit to your abode carrying a baseball bat when you've failed to give his boss the proper respect. Stevie is clearly the hilarious heart of this series. As Glasser's all-around assistant, his duties are to make sure the day-to-day business of starring in and producing adult films gets done. In the pilot episode, Stevie discovers that Seymore's latest video is one scene short of a feature… literally. The box cover, already printed, promises two hours of footage, and after careful screening, Stevie has discovered that it clocks in a good 20 minutes too soon. Stevie and Seymore have only one day to find a girl and shoot the scene. In Porn Valley (L.A.'s suburban San Fernando Valley), this doesn't seem too much of a problem. Only problem is, she has to squirt. Female ejaculation is the video's theme, which means Stevie has to crawl around the area's sundry strip joints to secure a squirter. Not the easiest task in the world on short notice.  These scenes are pure comedy gold. See Stevie throw his hands up in frustration as strippers rebuff him ("It's like I'm invisible!" he deadpans with the comic timing of an old pro). Hear Stevie scream, "Fuck!" at the top of his voice as he locks his keys in his car (and displays his street smarts as he constructs a slim jim and breaks in to get the keys). Thrill as Stevie answers a routine cell phone call, nonplussed as a fake-breasted stripper gives the old guy a lap dance.Stevie eventually gets the girl, who ends up indeed squirting for Seymore in the back of the limo, soiling the camera lens in the process. So yeah, despite my reservations, I gotta admit being highly entertained. It doesn't even matter if some of the scenes with Stevie seem a little contrived or staged—they're hilarious, and that's enough to keep me watching. Family Business airs every Friday at 11:30pm on Showtime. Images courtesy of Showtime.
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