Sodomy, not Saddam-y

First of all, I’d like to point out how stupid it sounds when westerners (especially journalists and government/military officials) mispronounce “Saddam.”

Now, I’m the first to admit that I’m no intellectual titan. I dropped out of community college, fer chrissakes. But you needn’t have graduated magna cum laude from Columbia to know that the emphasis on the name of this celebrity dictator (who was, by the way, robbed by the Academy, who failed to recognize his performance in the South Park movie) should be placed on the second syllable.

Saddam.

Instead, lots of dullards like to pronounce his name incorrectly. This can be out of ignorance, stupidity (they’re two different things), or the feeling that he doesn’t deserve to have his name pronounced correctly, and that it is an affront to the man. It’s not, it only renders anyone an idiot who misplaces that syllable.

So let’s review: Saddam, not Saddam. That was a biblical Bad Place where Bad Things happened by Bad People. Which brings us to the topic at hand—sodomy, that is.

Our nation’s highest and most esteemed court (which, if it was a taco, would have sour cream, ‘cos it’s Supreme) last week heard arguments on whether or not to continue to allow states to outlaw so-called “errant” sex acts.

Yes, it’s amazing and sad that in the U.S., in 2003, is still worrying about stupid shit like this. Just 15 years ago, the court ruled 5-4 that homosexuals had no constitutional right to engage in buttfucking and blow jobs, and unfortunately there is little that suggests the present court is any more progressive or reasonable.

Currently, nine states uphold a ban on sodomy: Florida, Idaho, Louisiana, Utah, North Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, Virginia, Texas, Missouri, Oklahoma and Kansas. In the case of the last four, the ban only applies to homosexuals.

At issue is the case of Lawrence v. Texas, wherein police, responding to a false report (always a shady law enforcement defense tactic), entered the apartment of a gay man and discovered him giving his friend a little rump-rogerin’. The officers arrested the men in accordance to a 28-year-old Texas law forbidding same-sex intercourse.

Attorney Paul Smith, representing the Texas pair, said his clients were asking the court to to recognize "the right of all adult couples, whether same-sex or not, to be free from all forms of government intrusion into their chosen method of sexual expression."

The Texas statute applies only to homosexuals, and the couple contends that violates the 14th Amendment's guarantee of equal protection under the law.

Smith argued that singling out homosexuals for acts that are considered aberrant in heterosexuals as well is tantamount to persecution. Also, civil rights groups are expected to assert the government has no business prying into people's bedrooms, regardless of sexual orientation.

The justices’ responses to both Smith’s arguments and those of the state of Texas were too limited to say with any specificity where its ruling would land. Justice Antonin Scalia showed some scary piousness when Smith argued that even Texas would concede it can’t regulate the sexual behavior of couples.

"Maybe so," Scalia retorted, "but I haven't conceded it."

Wotta jerkoff.

Meanwhile, Justice Stephen Breyer told Texas attorney Charles Rosenthal it appeared that Texas was claiming the right to ban private sexual behavior simply because it didn't like it.

Gee, ya think?

The Court is expected to rule on the case sometime around June. Hope for the best… expect the worst.

Follow your nose, it always knows…

Ever wonder how those cute but occasionally pesky sperm cells manage to find the female egg as if they’re X-wing fighters from Star Wars trying to penetrate the Death Star’s core reactor with a photon torpedo?

Better yet, ever wonder how on earth I ever get laid spewing out nerdy, cornball Star Wars references like that? (God knows I do… wonder, that is.)

Well, at least for the former, wonder no more. German scientists, acting with utmost efficiency (natch), have discovered that sperm cells use scent receptors to help find their quarry.

Prior studies discovered chemical receptor proteins that latch onto "odorants," or scent molecules, in sperm. These are normally seen in the sensory nerves of the nose. Further investigation concluded the receptor proteins were being used by the sperm to navigate their way to the egg.

While studying these proteins, the scientists made a discovery that’s actually of practical worth—a compound named undecanal that blocked the sperm’s ability to use the proteins to track the egg.

"One could speculate about hormone-free contraception methods that are based on an undecanal-induced blockade of sperm path-finding toward the egg," researcher Marc Spehr, a chemosensory biologist at Ruhr University in Bochum, Germany, told United Press International.