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 I usually wait for a couple of paragraphs before I start yammering about something that has a very tenuous connection with the week’s sexual subjects at hand, but I think I’ll come charging right out of the gate this time around. Man, if I was a gangsta rap icon, I think I’d stay the hell off of Fairfax Avenue in Los Angeles’ mid-city district. I’m, of course, referring to the attempted assassination last week of “Gin and Juice”-sippin’, blunt-puffin’, Girls Gone Wild entrepreneurin’ Snoop Dogg. For those not in the know, Fairfax is one of the streets Biggie Smalls was near (intersecting with Wilshire) when he was ruthlessly smoked, right on the edge of L.A.’s Miracle Mile. And now Snoop has run afoul of Fairfax. Take it from me, MCs, stay the hell off of Fairfax. Sure, that means skipping the potato pancakes and pastrami at Cantor’s, the hot dogs at Pink’s and (worse yet), Mo’ Betta Meaty Meat Burgers, but at this rate you’re much safer grubbin’ up some chicken and waffles at Roscoe’s. (Bleh, I miss the one here in Oakland… ) Anyway, Snoop’s relatively tame foray into female-focused film notwithstanding, rappers continue to mix it up on the porn tip, as reported here last year.  Gonzo adult studio Elegant Angel announced yesterday that former N.W.A. member Yella is the latest next hip-hopper-cum-pornmeister. Actually, Yella has been producing porn for almost a decade under another name.“DJ Yella, one of the original founding members of the infamous rap/hip-hop group N.W.A., has just finished shooting and editing his first film for Elegant Angel Productions called DJ Yella's Real-2-Reel,” a press statement read. “Yella, who has been shooting adult movies for years under pseudonym Tha Kidd, has recently started shooting films using his N.W.A moniker. Engaged in a partnership with his former bodyguard, Big Man, the duo has shot over 250 films since the beginning of their adult careers in 1994.” I guess this explains why Yella hasn’t been begging former N.W.A. members Ice Cube, and Dr. Dre to “get the band back together.” According to publicist Mitzi Connett, “DJ Yella's Real-2-Reel is a film that allows viewers to spend a day in the life with the famous producer as he rides around and coaxes girls to get ‘freaky’ for him. From the subway trains in Los Angeles, to the streets of downtown L.A., (Yella) hooks up with some of the prettiest and nastiest talent that has ever been seen in ethnic movies.” In a parallel with his former group’s hip-hop ethic of unpretentiousness, Yella says his productions reflect more reality than fantasy. "I like them to be real—like this could happen." The female performers Yella likes to employ are "natural, not in high heels and stockings. We are taking it from ‘Real’ life to the ‘Reel,’ which is what makes it good. We are keepin' it real." Tell it, Yella. No, I’m serious, grab Michael Ninn and smack this no-frills sensibility into his noggin. DJ Yella’s Real-2-Reel hits stores May 6. Beats ‘n’ bonerz, Pt. Two: The Iceman cummeth I’ve used this pulpit more than once to outline my affinity for the TV drama Law & Order, although I must voice my concern over star Elisabeth Rohm’s new look. I don’t know how the makeup and hair people manage to make this hottie look weird, but they do. Stop it. It’s odd, but my allegiance to the show hasn’t manifested itself into any interest in the two shows spun off from it, Law & Order: Criminal Intent and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I attribute it to a general lack of time to spend on TV watching, and the fact that my Tivo access keeps the plate pretty full as is. It’s nice to see that SVU is keeping Ice-T’s acting career afloat, despite a couple of bad decisions, not the least being Leprechaun in the Hood.  So it’s strange that at this point when the pioneering gangsta rapper is busy representin’ NBC and its corporate parent General Electric that he would jump on the hip-hop/porn bandwagon.But that’s just what the admitted former (?) pimp is doing, with the release of Ice-T’s Pimpin’ 101 through International Video Distributors (IVD). The project also marks the adult directorial debut of famed hip-hop music video director Tony Diablo. To maximize commercial potential (and cable pay-per-view options), Pimpin’ 101 will be released in both hardcore and softcore formats. Along with the requisite bitches and hoes, pimps and playas, the video boasts an impressive soundtrack, including Busta Rhymes, Dirty South, Brand Nubian, and the Original Gangster himself, Ice-T. In what could be an unprecedented move, the soundtrack itself will be released separately. (As someone who did a little adult film scoring years ago, I can personally attest that it doesn’t usually stand up on its own, pardon the pun.) I got a sneak peek at an advance promo trailer, and while it’s hard to get a feel for how hot the action will be, T’s play-by-play on the art of pimpin’ is funny as fuck. And though I know this will render the above headline a little misleading, no, the Iceman won’t be, um, “performing” in the production.
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