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 You wouldn’t necessarily assume that the small seaside borough of Redcar in Britain’s North East would be home to a swingers haven, but then as the old saying goes, to “assume” is to make an “ass” out of “u” and “me.” For as sure as eggs is eggs, this coastal resort town does indeed host what is becoming the talk of the UK swinging scene, the Sexcroft Hotel. Not that you’d find any tell-tale signs of debauchery, like knickers on the lawn or anything. In fact, on weekdays, the Sexcroft goes by its other name, the more conservative-friendly Seacroft Hotel. The Seacroft is a typical seaside bed and breakfast, offering its guests such amenities as reasonably priced drinks, a full English breakfast, and even breaks for pensioners. A short drive away from the Yorkshire Moors, the area has been used as location film settings for series such as Heartbeat and All Creatures Great and Small. On selected weekends, however, the “sea” turns to “sex,” and the hotel becomes a paradise for swingers.  According to the Sexcroft’s website, “The Hotel is available as a swingers venue on Friday & Saturday nights. Although ‘Swingers’ are welcome to stay at other times, you should be aware that ‘normal’ guests are resident on other days, appropriate behavior is necessary and other tarriffs apply.”Despite its website, the Sexcroft has kept a relatively low profile in the community. Even so, the local paper Evening Gazette caught wind of the weekend proclivities, and turned loose its finest investigative team to get to the bottom of it all. The Gazette seemed surprised that local cops hadn’t lowered the boom on the Sexcroft’s lascivious operations. Evidently they forgot that, despite their righteous indignation, there’s no law against consenting adults having sex in privacy with whomever they please (or pleases them, as the case may be). Acting Chief Superintendent Tom Stoddart, head of Langbaurgh CID, was quoted as saying, “As soon as we were made aware of the website, we visited the premises. “The proprietors have been advised what the legal boundaries are and the situation will be monitored by us,” Stoddart said. “However, it is not a matter directly for the police because it is between consenting adults, payment is not involved and the hotel is not open to the general public on those specific weekends.” In other words; no harm, no foul. According to the paper, it was briefed of the situation by a reader who had “stumbled” on the Sexcroft site. Right. For the owners’ part, they took over the hotel last December and have had four party weekend since, with another planned for the month of August. The Gazette reports “Judy” and “Steve” have been married for 23 years, and swinging for the last four. “We just wanted to get out of the rat race and do something for ourselves,” they said. And others, as well. The Hung Ever wonder what The Hulk has going on underneath those miraculously elastic purple pants? Well, I’m fairly certain six-year-old Leah Lowland, of Biggin Hill, Kent, didn’t, though she’ll never need to wonder it in the future. The Sun is reporting that little Leah, after winning a 12-inch green doll of the popular comic book (and now movie) icon at the local Brighton Pier fair, noticed a significant bulge beneath its pants. After indulging her curiosity, the young girl was horrified at the sight of what the Sun calls a “monster willy” lurking under the flimsy, torn trousers.  Naturally, Leah ran to her mum, Kim, to show her the offending toy.“She… took them off, then ran up to me asking why her doll had a willy,” the woman told the Sun. “I find it very odd, as none of her other dolls have anything like this.” Well, even if Barbie’s Ken had genitals, it’s unlikely he would be able to match what this Hulk doll was packing. Leah’s mum, who is handling the affair with a healthy sense of humor despite her daughter’s ordeal, says she is upset about it, and that the doll “should be taken off the shelves.” “It sounds funny, but kids should not be exposed to this kind of thing,” she said. Still, she appeared more impressed with the size of the appendage than by anything else. “A hulk with a bulk like this just shouldn’t be allowed,” she said. “Considering the doll is only 12-inches tall it’s amazing how big his willy is. And it’s definitely not an extra piece of material left on by mistake.” Let’s just hope that Leah’s dad hasn’t turned a little green himself… with envy, that is. Spiders go out with a bang There have often been those who have compared the ecstasy of orgasm to something akin to the act of death. Well, for some male spiders, this idea goes far beyond the notion of waxing poetic. For the male Argiope aurantia, it’s a deadly reality. Scientists have for the first time identified this member of the animal kingdom as the first on record to die spontaneously during sex.  Other species, such as salmon and mayflies, die shortly after mating, but the male Argiope aurantia is the first known species for which getting it on represents an instantaneous launching off this mortal coil.According to a paper published in the current Royal Society Biology Letters, the male spider must insert both of his sexual organs, called palps, into the female’s genital opening. Death happens just after insertion of the second palp. Apparently, these males are the jealous type, as they intentionally die while still inside the female, preventing other males from trying to get in on a little sloppy seconds action. Later, once she’s recuperated from the experience (and been fully fertilized by her late lover), the female yanks the male corpse from her and has him for dinner. Yum. What’s odd about this species is that, unlike other male spider who entice the female to eat them during the act (which also prolongs the fertilization period), these ones simply drop dead once they’ve launched their load. Sheesh, doesn’t sound like safe sex to me!
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