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 Despite the predictably asinine reactions of this nation's most conservative assholes, a new Gallup poll has found that most Americans agree with the recent Supreme Court decision against sodomy laws, and that gays should have the right to have sex. The U.S. Supreme Court's decision to invalidate an anti-sodomy law in Texas is generally in line with the attitudes of a majority of Americans, according to Gallup. Gallup Polls indicate that about six out of 10 American adults approve of the idea that homosexual relations between consenting adults should be legal.  "This represents a significant change in attitudes over time," Gallup stated. "As recently as 1988, a clear majority felt gay and lesbian relations should be illegal."Of course, things aren't all shiny and happy in the land of the free. The problem is this is also the land of the stupid and toothless. Not surprisingly, the usual suspects are to blame for clinging to bad attitudes, noxious stereotypes, and ironically non-Christian thinking. "Those most likely to continue to believe that homosexual relations should be outlawed include people who attend church regularly, older Americans, those with lower levels of education, and Americans living in the South and in rural areas," Gallup found. In other words, all the people with minds so narrow nothing will ever change them. What's really interesting about the Gallup poll is that it showed that an even greater majority of Americans approved of lesbians having sex. Looks like the ever-pleasing roster of late night Cinemax movies is having a profound effect on the American political landscape. Black widows a boner's best friend? Cancer and AIDS patients may be crossing their fingers and praying to the heavens in vain for a cure, but it's good to know that the progress of boner science continues unabated.  Yes, scientists beating their heads against a wall looking for cures to humanity's gravest ills should take a well-deserved vacation and work on the ages-old dilemma of male erections, because that's where the real advancement is taking place.According to Reuters, Chilean researchers said last week they aimed to develop a new pill to combat impotence that would have the added bonus of being a male contraceptive, based on experiments with the venom of black-widow spiders. Yup, you read that right. Black widow spiders. I dunno what poor fucker got bit on the weenus to put this theory into the minds of these researchers, but god bless him. Evidently the scientists, working at University La Frontera in the southern Chilean city of Temuco, have been studying the effects of the venom's various properties for the past seven years. By isolating these elements, they could reproduce them synthetically in drugs to strengthen weak hearts and help men with erectile dysfunction. But that's not all folks! Before you buy this amazing product, you must hear about its other astounding properties! Last November, they discovered by accident that one ingredient in spider venom could not only facilitate male erection in a way similar to the popular Viagra pill, but also render sperm infertile. That's right, not only will this miracle pill put some pep in your petulant pecker, but it'll zap those pesky sperm in the process. "This new drug could help the functioning of the male erection without having to worry about the partner getting pregnant," Fernando Romero, director of the research project, told Reuters outside his lab filled with the dangerous spiders caught in southern Chile. Romero said the contraceptive effects of the drug could last up to 20 minutes, depending on the dosage. And if that's not enough, the Chilean researcher says their intent is to produce a drug that, while doing all the Viagra does and more, avoids the unhealthy side effects of the blue pill, such as accelerated heart rate and, in rare cases, death. The drug is not even close to the patent stage, so don't hold your breath. By the same token, I wouldn't go dangling my dork in any dark corners of the garage (where black widows tend to hide), as only a small ingredient of the arachnid's venom contains pro-boner properties. Hunting for Bambi There's a new kind of game hunting going on in the wilderness of Las Vegas, and men are lining up to get one of these critters in their sights. Steely-eyed, these predators stalk their prey. Then, once they're caught in their sights … Splort!  That's the sound of the splash and sting made by the impact of a paint ball traveling 200 mph against soft, ripe, young, naked flesh.It's called Hunting for Bambi, and basically it involves nude women being hunted and attacked… with paint ball guns. Hunting for Bambi came from the shrewd mind of local entrepreneur Michael Burdick. Men pay from $5000 to $10,000 to hunt these hot chicks, and some come from as far away as Germany. Hunters get a video tape of their hunt to take home and show their friends. Hmm… something tells me these guys have, uh, issues with women. Maybe what puts this over the edge for me is the fact that getting hit with a paint ball hurts, so I would hesitate to call it harmless entertainment, even if nobody's forcing the women getting shot at to get paid to be the subject of misplaced male aggression. Still, I guess it's good that, despite the attempted strides in family entertainment and valid culture that Sin City has attempted in the last decade, there's still an element of society that exists there that straddles the line between the tolerable and the sociopathic.
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