Ever wonder what goes on in the beautiful mind of a professional submissive?
Well, we certainly have, so we tracked down Belle, one of the sexiest subs in the San Francisco area, and took an interesting look into what drives this hottie to seek delicious discipline.
"I'm really lucky in that I've been topped by most of the dommes in the Bay Area," Belle told us. "I've had plenty of fantastic experiences where women co-top me with a client, or pit the client and me against each other."
"You wouldn't believe how many burly men can't take a little spanking," Belle said. "Actually though, I've found a few women who I really click with, and we do great scenes together for novices and voyeurs."
When she's not busy tempting tops, Belle studies 18th century literature and feminist studies.
"Art can be okay too, I guess," she says. "I'm still deciding whether I want my PhD or JD, or both, so I guess in the future I'll be a professor, lawyer, or still in school, respectively."
Sounds like this scintillating sub can pose a challenge with her mind as well as her amazing body. But why am I still talking? I'll let Belle explain the life of a professional sub in her own words…
Eros Guide: How did you become a professional submissive?
Belle: I became a professional submissive by accident. When I was 16 I was attending college in England, and I met a girl who had worked at the Gates. She was slightly older than I, and so self-assured that I was in total awe of her. At one point I asked her what she did, and when she answered "Dominatrix," I blushed. I think my voice actually cracked as I said, "Really? I didn't know you could do that." I had been into SM for a while by that point, but I had never thought that such a romantic job could exist in reality.
I moved back to Oakland, and the day I turned 18, I called the Gates for an interview. I think I was so green that I actually brought a resume and dressed professionally.
When I started there, I was a switch. After a while, I found that most of the sessions I really enjoyed involved me bottoming. I felt that was when I could really immerse myself in the session, when I got a gleeful spark in my eyes, and when I felt most authentic. After a while I became independent and found the same things to hold true. My progression to dominance has never really occurred, but now that I have a real grasp on my own style of SM and submission, I've found myself switching a lot. Granted; that's taken over three and a half years.
EG: Is it scary?
Belle: It's never really been scary. Sometimes I get nervous before a session with a new client, but I think it's more anticipation than fear. I don't take sessions from everyone who can dial a phone number; it's important to me that I get a sense of why they want to do a session, why they're dominant, and what their personality is like.
There are certain clues, certain words and phrases, which allow me to feel safe and understand where the other person is coming from. I figure the time I spend talking with a client is not the time for me to show them what a "good sub" I can be, but time for me to make sure I can trust them. Of course, I realize one can't glean the inner workings of a person's psychology through a phone call, and I take precautions while in session, but in a lot of ways I don't feel my work is any more dangerous than daily life.
Some would argue that being tied-up is a high-risk situation, but I often feel that walking down a street is dangerous. I'm small and most men are big. I don't think it really matters if I spank them, or if they spank me, or if I encounter them in a parking lot. What matters are intentions, which I think women learn to discern though living life.
EG: Does it ever interfere with your own personal relationships?
Belle: As far as personal relationships are concerned, they're always more difficult when you're a sex worker. Being that I don't do blatantly sexual acts in session, it's a little easier on my partners, but people don't react the same to "I'm a waitress" as they do to "I do professional sadomasochism." Who knows why?
When I used to date (a process I loathe), I found that the guys who couldn't deal with my work were the ones I liked, and the guys who were really turned on by it were so fixated on my work that they seemed a little creepy. It was a hellacious, polarized catch-22.
Now, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend (Reno Larson) for three and a half years. Men don't generally understand my work, and women don't generally understand his photography, but together, we do quite well. It's great. He's also the guy who does my photos, which is convenient, but they're usually a little to weird to use (e.g. creepy twins photo).
EG: Are you strictly a sub or do you switch?
Belle: I love switching, but a qualified sort. It really comes down to the chemistry I have with a person and what they like as a sub. Domestic spanking is my favorite, and I also love sensual teasing sessions. After being submissive for so long, switching can feel like breaking a taboo for me. I love it when I can give someone the same feelings or sensations I love. It's kind of this über-submissiveness, where I enjoy pleasing someone whose submissive pleasures I identify with.
EG: What kind of play turns you on the most?
I used to be into hardcore pain, but I've found myself steering away from it now. After a while, as you can probably imagine, I felt the need to branch out. I've always found something really eloquent in human suffering and our capacity for endurance. It breaks down a person until you have the untainted, essential core of what constitutes being.
At the risk of sounding grossly academic or serious, I have to say I really understood why I enjoyed pain when I read Edith Hamilton on tragedy. She asserts that the dignity and significance of human life is dependent on our power to suffer and empathize; that the core of human dignity is our ability to remain proud in suffering. While I'm not likening myself or any other two-bit masochist to Prometheus, I do think the spectacle or semblance of her idea of tragedy is what's so appealing in SM. It definitely made sense to me.
Recently, I've gained a little depth, and realize the small gestures can carry the same meaning. I guess I've become a little more sensual and fun (or less pretentious even) in my idea of what makes for good SM. My favorite things right now are bare-bottom spankings, role-plays where I can be really bratty, either/or games, and things to that effect.
I have one client who always gives me "spanking spelling bees," which is just so much damn fun, because I can't spell to save my life! I also love being put in embarrassing situations; one client gave me the option of wetting my pants or doing different sorts of cheesy '80s dance moves. I really didn't know which was worse…
Right now, I guess what I really love is when someone comes to me with a fun, off-the-wall idea that can be sexy at the same time. For a multitude of reasons I've always really liked schoolgirl and domestic scenes. It allows for a dynamic which really resonates with me. I think one of the reasons I make for such a good sub, is because there are so few things I don't like.
The attire has always been a real turn on for me as well. I love garters and stockings, sexy underthings, and pin-up styling. They help make me feel seductive and allow me to get into my sexuality.
EG: Can you relate your chosen career back to something that happened in your childhood (being spanked, etc.)?
Belle: I grew up in the typical suburban, upper-middle class, Jewish household. There was really nothing to fetishize in my youth. If anything, the banality of L.A.'s suburbs drove my fascination with all things weird and sexy.
My mom was a liberal woman who would always "spare the rod," so I wasn't spanked until my high-school sweetheart pulled me over his knee. Actually, my mom teaches medieval literature, and has a love for old torture devices. Once, I took her to my workplace (okay, she's really liberal) and she loved the stocks and rack. I think my mom wants to quit teaching and become a dominatrix. |
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