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![]() Organ-ized crime Man, I thought Ray Liotta and Paul Sorvino had it easy in Goodfellas when they were using their sway and influence over guards to cook steaks in the hoozgow, but this next story is prison privilege taken to the next level. ![]() CNN reported last week that Kevin Granato, a convicted hit man for the Colombo crime family, and his wife, Regina, pleaded guilty in May to charges they used a cryogenic sperm kit to sneak his sperm from Allenwood Federal Prison to a New York fertility clinic. The mobster was sentenced to an additional 16 months in prison, though the presiding judge could have added another 35 years to his current sentence for racketeering and murder, which taps out in 2012. The plan worked, by the way, resulting in a now-three-year-old daughter, whose presence during visits to Granato (who insisted on showing his pride and joy off, referring to her as his) were the first sign to authorities that something was amiss. One of the things that�s really odd about this situation is that there have been as many as five other cases of sperm smuggling at Allenwood, according to prosecutors. Also, in a fashion more akin to the aforementioned Goodfellas, guards were paid off to ignore the smuggling of bodybuilding pills, toiletries, Genoa salami and Romano cheese. I don�t have any clue how the fuck you smuggle Romano cheese�that crap stinks like a bum�s feet. It also puzzles me why the hell Granato and the guards didn�t keep it simple and just let him fuck his wife behind closed doors. Sure, the guy didn�t have conjugal privileges, but he obviously wasn�t allowed to freeze his spuzz like Han Solo in carbonite, either. Barebacking 101 It appears that US college students think that STDs are only something they have to worry about in human sexuality exams. ![]() The online survey of 516 students found that 68 percent of those who had unprotected sex did not believe they were at risk of contracting an STD. And almost half of the sexually active students had never been tested for an STD, even though one in five college students knew someone who has contracted a sexually transmitted disease while in college, according to the survey, which was conducted last spring by Harris Interactive. With the increased spread of syphilis in both the US and Britain, these numbers are pretty disturbing. Or as my layman dad might say, "Is that what they�re teaching you in that college of yours, college boy? I thought you were supposed to be smart." Blackout baby boom a bust? Despite the predictions of Toronto Mayor Mel Lastman, who presided over that city�s disastrous blackout recently, it�s highly unlikely that the North American cities affected by the huge power outage will experience the baby boom reported during New York City�s infamous 1966 electric ordeal. ![]() In a report circulated by Knight Ridder newspapers last week, Richard Udry of the University of North Carolina debunked the myth in 1970, after a number of studies were conducted that backed up the New York Times assertion of a blackout-related baby boom. Instead of relying on an informal poll of hospitals as the Times had done, Udry conducted a more rigorous study of all New York City hospitals. What he found was that, despite popular thinking, there was no statistically significant change. "It is evidently pleasing to many people to fantasize that when people are trapped by some immobilizing event which deprives them of their usual activities, most will turn to copulation," Udry wrote. Immobilizing event, eh? D�you mean, like, writing a news brief column? Heh�
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