The Gropenator

We've been telling you about concern over gubernatorial candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger's behavior and attitude toward women for weeks, but in the past few days allegations printed in a major newspaper have roiled the issue into a boil on the eve of the unprecedented recall election.

Voter reaction to two Los Angeles Times articles detailing the accounts of 15 women who claim to have been inappropriately fondled and propositioned has caused another readjustment of poll numbers, days after showing Schwarzenegger and the recall effort well ahead of embattled Gov. Gray "Maybe not quite dead yet" Davis' attempt to thwart it. The latest poll by NBC and Knight Ridder had the gap between voters opposing the recall and those supporting it narrowing in the wake of the Times pieces.

On Sunday, four more women told the Times they had been groped by the would-be governor. Three of these women allowed themselves to be identified, disarming Schwarzenegger's handlers' complaint of using unidentified sources.

Arnold's defense against the printed charges have varied—the actor came out of the gate with an early (if limp) apology, attributing the "playful" behavior to "wild movie sets." He and his team, though, have since denied some of the accounts and chalked up the pieces as "dirty politics."

Republican and centrist pundits have also cried foul, claiming that the same Democrats who screamed about the right's obsession with Bill Clinton's varied indiscretions a few years ago are now guilty of the same kind of smear campaign.

But it seems to us that there's a world of difference between getting blown by an intern who flashes her thong and telling a waitress to go to the bathroom and stuff her finger up her snatch and serve it to him with his omelette.

And if there isn't, well, turnabout is fair play. Dirty politics, indeed.

A real ball buster

I generally don't have a whole lot of empathy with lowly fuckers who try to beat up their wives, regardless of their culture. But this is the story of one poor slob who almost makes me feel bad for him. Almost.

According to Reuters' bureau in Ethiopia's Addis Ababa (a region I know only from an obscure reference from the Superman movie with Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor), a man from the Wayu-Tuka district in Wellega died last week after his wife had crushed his testicles.

But before you start weeping for this guy (groaning is allowed, I guess), realize first that he had first only suffered the proverbial ball-busting after his wife complained of his drinking expenses, but when she demanded he pull couch duty, violence ensued. He attempted to discipline his wife through force, only to receive the wrath of her self-defense.

And every woman, whether a black belt karate instructor or a pan-slinging housewife, should know exactly where to strike to defend herself.

"In the melee that followed, the wife grabbed and twisted his testicles causing serious damage," police said.

Unfortunately for the husband, he let the shame of being manhandled by the wifey prevent him from seeking badly needed medical attention, until complications from his crushed nuts caused him to drop dead.

So what's the moral of this story? I guess it's, "If you own a pair of testicles, don't try to beat your wife."

Australia needs dominatrices

If you're a femdom mistress whose dying to beat the crap out of some English sports junkies, the time is nigh to head to the land Down Under and dole out some discipline.

With the Rugby World Cup about to unleash at least 100,000 rabid fanatics onto Sydney, local merchants and service industries are struggling to figure out how to accommodate the tidal wave of potential consumers. And the world of sex is no different.

Whores? They've got 'em, likely enough for what has been predicted will be as much as a 30 percent rise in demand for sex. But femdoms are a bit harder to come by in the land of Foster's, evidently, as Aussies aren't quite as into getting dominated as their limey counterparts.

Eros Association (not affiliated with Eros Guide) coordinator Robbie Swan told local press that it must have something to do with the lads' typical upbringing.

"It's not something that's very big in Australia, so a lot of the brothels are looking at lining up dominatrix for the tournament," he told AFP. "If you look at where the game came from, the English public schools, they're very much into correction and all that."

Swan said the Sydney Olympics in 2000 resulted in prostitution increasing by up to 50 percent, and major events were always good for business.

"In Canberra, where we're based, the biggest event we ever had was the World Council of Churches in 1994," he said. "Business was up 250 percent, there were all kinds of jokers coming in."

News Briefs - by Steve Robles

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