Gone are the days of curiously peeling down the felt pants of your action figure to discover a perfectly flat pelvic region, a disappointing plastic wasteland where you know there should be something more. Porn stud Jeff Stryker is coming to the rescue with the world's first anatomically correct poseable action figure. (And we mean "all parts are poseable". Seriously.)

Mini-Jeff Stryker

If you'd like to get more acquainted with Mr. Stryker's body (of work), check out his website. But if you're really all about the 12" action, you can jump straight to mini-Jeff's page, where you'll find tiny Jeff splayed out on an equally tiny animal-skin rug, mugging for the cameras, stripping, and of course, starring in his own fully-animated rock-a-billy video, "Pop You in the Pooper".

But what to do when 12" just isn't enough? The answer: www.realdoll.com. Yes, yes, we've all seen the stories about life-size silicone female dolls that can be purchased for a pretty penny and shipped straight to your door. But have you seen Abyss Creations' latest innovations?

Meet Charlie, a high grade silicone rubber dream. He's 5'1" tall, 110 lbs, and a sculpted (literally) 44-32-34. He loves pina coladas in the rain and apparently bubble baths. Best of all, he has a 6" to 8" (or more) surprise, depending on what you ask for. Oral entry is standard, anal entry is optional. All this and more can be yours for the low low price of $6999 plus shipping.

"But what about a response system?" I hear you ask. Ah yes, they've figured that one out too. The "Interactive Sensory Response System" is composed of sensors embedded in Charlie's anal entry. Using an ethernet cable and your PC, he will respond to stimulus with any sound you want to edit into your PC. Heck, with that type of interface, you could program Charlie to sing Stryker's infamous country ditty for an additional $1500 smackers.

Real Doll's Charlie

"But what about gyrating hips?" you say. Funny you should ask. The revolutionary "Hip Gyration System", when activated by an external control unit, will gyrate Charlie's hips in a pre-programmed pattern loop (soon to be editable).

Unless you just happen to have giant chunks of change lying around, Charlie may be out of your grasp. But for only $250, his cock could be in your grasp. Check out "The RealCock" in the "Products" section, which is just as eerily lifelike and comes complete with a flat base, choice of skin tones and the all-important pubic hair options.

And just when you thought it couldn't get any more lifelike, for just $19.99, you too can become a member of the Realdoll Porn site. It's all there, baby, hot silicone guy on hot silicone girl action. But do they really need to put the little yellow stars over the faux-naughty bits?