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Today's afternoon delight was delivered by The Heartbreaker Vibe, a handsome piece of European design. It's not disguised as a lollipop or electric shaver. It doesn't have a dozen attachments or do your laundry. And it definitely looks like a sex toy, though a darling, dashing one, to be sure! Its suave, Euro curves caught my eye, and it was love at first sight for me when I spotted this at Toys in Babeland. The matte finish, the circus colors, the sturdy workmanship and, best of all, the bright yellow ricky-ticky-sticky-like flower design dial that glides gently from Off to Mmm to Bone-Rattling BZZZzzzz and back again. This is almost a work of art worthy of a place on your mantel. Phallic Op Art.  But just wait till you get your hands on it! Your initial grab of this good looking gizmo will be most gratifying. It feels just the way you want a dick to feel: hard but not cement-like, squishy with just enough give, smooth with some amusing little ribbings. And of course, the slightly angled bulb on the end, perfect for G-Spot spelunking.I sampled the Vibrating Egg ages ago and enjoyed the vibration, but found it to feel more therapeutic than orgasmic. For me, the vibration is best enjoyed on the outside of my body. Inserting this sleek toy was satisfying, if not climactically so. Moving and prodding it resulted in increased pleasure, and when it rubbed up against my inviolate asshole, even THAT felt good! But the best use of this baby was sliding it in and out and then over my clit. With the setting on Mmm, it was a good time, but once I dialed that yellow flower up to Bone-Rattling, I knew I wouldn't last long. I finally held the Heartbreaker in one spot and sailed over the edge. Yippee! If I were to become addicted to a sex toy, this would be it. Its generous heft, seriously playful exterior, silky smooth "skin" and easily escalated speeds make it the perfect companion. And the size is just right: not too big, not too small. Now if only it came attached to someone who would buy me shoes! Seriously. The package included a little sample packet of ToyFluid, which was slippery and great. The Fun Factory vibrator manufacturer sells the stuff, as well as BodyFluid, which may sound just fine in Germany, but strikes me as a bit icky. I'd prefer my body fluids fresh, not bottled, thanks! A visit to their web site reveals a whole collection of these cute sex accessories. More bright colors and alarming anthropomorphisms, with smiling faces and Zen-like animals, bumps and nubs and more of those happy yellow dials. I think my next test-drive will be with one of their Twist and Shake models, which sports a clit stimulator similar to The Rabbit, but bigger, wider and - knowing what these gizmos are made of - softer, too! Mmm, I can only imagine how good THAT will feel! Post Orgasm Report: The Heartbreaker Vibe was surprisingly easy to clean, and the rubbery material made the seal between outside and inside seem far more secure than most. Goo does tend to get into those ribbings, but that's only a problem if you're one to leave clean-up till weeks later. Popping off the end to change batteries happens with a satisfying snap, and none of the parts feel like they're in imminent danger of breaking, as with most plastic products. Leave it to those Germans to make such a sturdy little masturbatory tool! Get yours at www.babeland.com.
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