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 Underwear fetishists have a passion for panties. Plain and white and pristine. Sexy and silky and soft. Ruffly and frilly and flirty. Panties come in a million different styles and they're all capable of making the heart race. Just a glimpse between a woman's legs as she casually crosses them or a flash of pantied ass as the wind blows up her skirt are the fleeting moments a panty fetishist lives for. What, then, do they experience when they encounter panties that are something special: novelty panties? Victoria's secret may sell an assortment of mundane cuts and styles, and they're certainly right out there for all to see in catalogs, on billboards and in the store windows. But the real secret is that Victoria's panties don't come close to being as naughty as the crotchless models from Frederick's of Hollywood. These overtly sexual undergarments are meant to torture and tease the crotch connoisseur. What other reason could there be for panties that don't cover one's privates? The one and only purpose is to enticingly frame a lady's short and curlies. Or, if she's a modern woman, her brazenly shaven snatch! If you're lucky enough to catch a cutie bending over in a pair of these evil undies, you'll be treated to the sight of two sexy strips of frilly lace showing off nothing but bare, exposed skin in between. Scandalous! And downright mouthwatering.  Probably more popular, and perhaps more commonplace, are the undies destined for ingestion. That's right, Edible Underwear. Long a staple of bachelorette parties and bridal showers, these candy-flavored seat covers get your taste buds involved in the foreplay. Take them out of their tacky 70s box and you'll find two tricky triangles of pseudo fruit roll. They're easy to install: just tie them at the hip with the ribbon-like strands. But once you've got your sweetie inside these sexy sweets, you'd better get down to going down tout de suite, because they do tend to melt. Not satisfied with stimulating our taste buds alone, those professionals out there in wacky panty development have invented a new addition to the line of novelty underwear. Franties are fragranced panties (as in scented) to satisfy one's sense of smell. The problem with this panty is similar to that of feminine hygiene products: they're based on the perpetual myth that a woman should smell like something other than a woman. Franties take feminine hygiene products one step further by infusing the actual panties with fragrance. Available in both bikini and high-cut, Franties come in a variety of scents. Revel in the splendor of Romantic Rose! Flashback to days at the beach with suntan oil-scented Taupe! Seduce with the mystery of Midnight Bouquet! Or smell good enough to eat with flirty French Vanilla!  The most obvious category of novelty panties is the most novel of all, especially if you consider that for holidays, the stationery stores sell what they call novelties. That's right, holiday underwear. And in this instance, the undies aren't just for women! There are his-'n'-hers sets for the nuptial couple: frilly white for the bride and an abbreviated version of the tux for the groom. Some of them even play "Here Come the Bride" when you, um, press the button. At Christmas there are protruding antlers for guys, which may be a tad threatening to any man not completely secure in his particular protrusion. There are three-dimensional jingle bells as well as the button-pressing, "Jingle Bells"-playing variety. And since everyone's a sucker for Christmas, Frederick's usually offers a wide assortment of Santa's Little Helper ensembles that you wouldn't be caught dead in on the street! Halloween undies are especially awesome, with glow-in-the-dark skeleton skivvies; bone-on-black-boxers, for that X-ray effect; or the Jack-o'-lantern shorts that make your ass look like a pumpkin. Hearts for Valentine's Day, bunnies for Easter, shamrocks for St. Patrick's Day...the list is endless.Over the past few years there's been a trend for rock bands to silkscreen their logos onto panties and sell them at concerts alongside the standard t-shirts. From dinosaur rockers KISS to hipster dyke bands like Tribe 8, from squeaky clean teen pop stars to death metal head bangers, the marketing plan of getting fans to sport their favorite groups on their asses has caught on. What this all boils down to is that for those of you true panty fans out there, novelty undies are a very good thing indeed, for they tempt the wearers to give us a flash and a laugh and to share their secrets with a smile. Whether it's a whiff of Midnight Bouquet, a taste of Wild Cherry or just a little jingle, you can thank the makers of frivolous lingerie for giving you just a little more than you expected!
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