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Does size really matter to a girl? Or, for that same question, to a guy? I guess it was a topic I'd never given too much thought to until I came across one of those rare individuals who made me gulp and think, "That thing in where?" The book Size Counts, from Diverse Publications, offers an interesting take on that same premise. Just as all men and women are not created equal (other than in the eyes of the law, hopefully), all cocks are not the same either. As their press release says, "We did not want to publish a normal 'Bookshop' book, but something different and a little bizarre." Mission accomplished, folks.  The small black and white tome begins with a chapter called Art and Education. As an introduction to the reasoning behind the book, it includes the somewhat obvious but not often considered quote, "The relationship between a man and his penis cannot, in any way, be compared to that of a woman and her genitals." The chapter continues with a piece of prose dedicated to the male appendage.The next section, Narration, is a diverse collection of information regarding the history and mythology of the penis and a look at phallic symbolism in many ancient civilizations. For example (and just cause I find it fascinating), did you know the Etruscans placed "a phallus on every grave while impotent and infertile men received more scorn and ridicule than sympathy and consideration." This chapter is dedicated to the historical placement of the phallus within many civilizations, including Thailand, Japan, India, Egypt, Israel, England, France, Greece and Italy. It also includes a definition of Priapus. For those not in the know, Priapus is the Greek phallic god who "is regarded as the personification of the male sexual impulse." Of course, now many know the term Priapus as similar to the medical term priapism, a condition of permanent erection. This can do some serious damage, from what I've read medically and heard. A recent news story actually claimed they had to amputate a young man's unit because it would not go down and therefore ran the risk of becoming gangrenous. There's a section in the book on Science, and how Leonardo Da Vinci was one of the first in the field to study the male penis. This passage tells of studies conducted through the ages, often amounting to erroneous information because of the underdeveloped study of science and sexuality. We then move to the Story of One Man's Penis. Can you guess who? Yes, Napoleon. Seems that the Emperor was not only the victim of short-man syndrome, but it turns out that the poor gentleman was probably impotent as well. What do you do when you can't have sex? Conquer a continent, evidently.  Is the penis edible? According to some aficionados of odd cuisine (and we're not talking blow-jobs here, folks), there is a recipe for how to prepare the male organ for a feted feast. A study of Ejaculation is also included, as is a message about Erections and Politics. This has more to do with the differing size ranges in different countries (rather than Bill Clinton and whether or not he got elected because we thought he could "get some").The next section deals with Statistics - Does Size Count? In fact, we learn that it is not a recent phenomenon but an age-old debate. And here's the piece-de-resistance, because I actually laughed out loud when I read this one: "In the past many doctors associated the size of the nose with the size of the penis." As we now all know, "in comparison with other organs, the size of the penis is not related in any way to the level of general physical development of any other organ of the body." Hear that - stop staring at his shoes or hands and calculating! There is a boat-load of useful, important information in these pre-chapters, but let's get down to what we really want to see. Oh, wait. There's another chapter called Ode to the Penis. It's all poetry. You can read it aloud to your lover. I'll leave you to that. Finally, we get to the section titled Images. Now, this was pretty fascinating stuff. I mean, I've been with loads of men, but I've never been bold enough to whip out the measuring tape and say, "Do you mind?" Each sub-section is named after the gentleman whose cock is photographed, what country he is from and how long he is when fully erect. For example, the first sub-section is Andrew, English, 7 ½ Inches Erect. Pretty informative.  Flip the page, and it gets even more informative. You see him limp and softened, the way I sometimes like my lover to approach me so I can tell how much I am arousing him. The photos go on to depict his ever-growing (ahem) state of excitement, from dangle to flagpole. Once he has reached his peak (there is no delicate way of saying these things so just go with it), an actual tape measure with both inches and centimeters is held next to his erect penis, for those who use the imperial system. There are a few arty photos with a woman's hand placed strategically and gracefully into the shot, and then we move on to the next gentleman.We're treated to thirteen of these gorgeous depictions - some larger, some smaller, each lovely in its own unique way. Some are pierced, some are uncircumcised, some men are obviously incredibly proud of what they see as their most useful unit. No faces are shown, but other body parts occasionally make it into the shots. The rulers, however, are a constant. We always know when a man is exaggerating, as the folks who determined to make this book were exacting in their measurement standards. I love this book. It's a treasured piece on my bedside table, and has made it into a few fantasy sessions as well, but I also love it simply for its informational wealth. On a scale of 1 to 10, I give it a 9.  Now comes the bad news: there have only been 1000 copies of Erection printed, and from what the publishers tell me, this is guaranteed. So if you're looking for something eclectic, sexy, artful, and quite lovely to add to your collection, I suggest you get in touch with the publishers ASAP. You can write to them at Diverse Publications, LTD, Unit 56, 3 Courthill House, 60 Water Lane, Wilmslow, Cheshire, SK9 5AJ and be sure to use the words "UK" on the envelope. You can send them a cheque (check, for you North Americans who think the world revolves around you) for £19.99 plus £1.49 to cover postage in the UK, or £3.55 for the rest of the world's postage fees. Or you can buy directly through PayPal, though you need to contact them to do so. Visit their webpage at www.diversepublications.co.uk or e-mail them at . As I said before, I am terribly glad this has become a part of my personal library. I am also entirely honored to have received one of the 1000 copies, so get your own before the other 999 are gone.
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