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 Sexy ShoppingFor Women: Nipple Huggers Similar throughout document.] You don't have to get your nipples pierced to pull a Janet Jackson! You can wear the newest body decor without going under the needle. Nipple Huggers are non-piercing nipple jewelry perfect for adorning your bared breasts if you have an appearance at the Super Bowl coming up- or just a swing party! Their web site promises that the jewelry "makes you look sexy and feel horny." We're not too sure if jewelry to make you horny is necessarily a good thing. Judging by the look of the pieces, you couldn't wear them under your clothes, since they'd probably slide off eventually (especially if you don't have the requisite "pencil eraser nipple"). Some pieces of the nipple wear look like those rings kids used to make out of colored telephone wires. Others are made of colored wire...which makes us think that with a few minutes and a small pair of pliers, you could certainly make your own. Be careful, though, they have a patent pending! The warn that "at least a 1/8" tall hard nipple is necessary to wear the jewels, counting THIS particular writer out of the wearing. Mine are usually, well, kinda flat. Hmm, maybe if I bought them just for sex parties.... Check them out yourself at www.nipple-huggers.com.  For Men: The BulgeMany men have become just as obsessed with their looks and grooming as women, and they're painfully aware that size DOES matter, what with all the Sex and the City sexual awareness the ladies are wielding these days. It was only a matter of time before someone started marketing falsies for men. Sold by Empowered Products, The Bulge "is a discreet, flexible-web insert that creates an impressive, realistic package enhancement in any swimsuit or underwear." If you're afraid your bathing suit will cling to a paltry little package, just slip this polyvinyl slab of self-confidence into your shorts and, voila, a swagger that will have the women swarming! Or so the salespeople would have you believe. "When you look like a stud, you feel like a stud," is their sales line, and we don't doubt for one second that men are solemnly sending in their hard-earned cash for this little-er, big-piece of ego enhancement. The copy continues, "It fits securely over the penis like a codpiece, giving a guy greater visual proportions without anyone ever knowing his secret." Um, until the guy takes his suit OFF, hello! We'd rather dive onto a small dick knowing it's gonna be small than get our mouths all watered up for a salami and wind up with a cocktail wienie! Whatever. It's one more way to sell yourself. We wonder who's buying. Purchase your fake package at www.empoweredproducts.com.  Nudity in the NewsExhibitionists, Track 12! Thank god for Spencer Tunick. Without him, there would be no nudity in art. Heh. The show-me-your-skin shutterbug's latest photo shoot took place in Buffalo, New York. He shot 1,826 nude volunteers (notice we didn't say models) on the dusty floor the decaying Central Terminal. Tunick plans to display the photo alongside a similar shot of naked people in Manhattan's Grand Central Terminal as a sort of compare and contrast. One is in a total state of disrepair and the other has recently undergone a major renovation. If you look closely, maybe you'll be able to tell which people have undergone major renovations and which ones are in a state of disrepair. Naked News - Literally! News on the web can be a dull affair without those coiffed anchors and wry local human interest stories. But who cares if the folks delivering the latest body count from Baghdad are naked? In 1999, the Toronto-based online news show "Naked News" debuted and garnered an audience six million strong within its first month. In the US, where the show is available on pay-per-view TV, 34 million folks watch every week. Now there's a new nude team covering the news in the UK. Disrobing anchors began broadcasting on a British satellite station recently and the French-dubbed version will be on French satellite TV soon. The web broadcasts feature both men and women, but the TV broadcast is all babes. Hmm.... Anchor Lily Kwan, 27, defended her right to read headlines with her headlights on, saying, "I think this is an empowering position. Nudity is OK." We agree, Lily!  International NewsDutch Toe-Licker Toe licking isn't against the law in the Netherlands - or anywhere else, as far as we know. But all it takes is one bad apple, eh? A fiendish foot fetishist who'd been scandalizing the ladies for years was arrested in Rotterdam after he licked a sunbathing woman's bare foot. Evidently other women had complained in the past, but without a law against foot licking on the books, there was little law enforcement officers could do. Peter van Heemst and Aleid Wolfsen, members of the Labor Party, requested that Justice Minister Piet Hein Donner change the law. This will be a relief for those surprised licked ladies, but a blow to toe lickers everywhere. Scoring...and Scoring! With escorts and other sex workers advertising online and the whole world blogging away like mad, the two worlds had to meet eventually. In Norway, men who are dissatisfied by prostitutes have been giving ratings online - from 1 to 6, if you must know...no Peter Meter rankings, we're sorry to say. One site has a search engine designed to check those ratings and another even features a discussion forum where hookers and johns participate in an online coffee klatch about how they believe business should be conducted. Arne Randers-Pehrson at Pro Sentret, the Norwegian national center of expertise on prostitution, weighs the good and the bad implications of such sites. "One thing is that these sites arrange the purchase and sale of sex, which is illegal. I also think it is tasteless how some of the clients discuss the women…But on the net, the clients also discuss how one should treat prostitutes well. The clients are not a homogenous group, and these aspects can form norms, for better and for worse." Talk about customer satisfaction!
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