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Sex Bracelets Kids of the 80's, we know you remember the trends of those fluorescently colored, shoulder-padded times. Don Johnson ruled prime time, Duran Duran played 24/7 and hair could never be teased too high. It was a crazy time during which many fashion sins were committed, some of which should never (repeat, never) be committed again. So imagine my surprise when, a couple months ago, I walked into an accessory store and found piles and piles of those multi-colored jelly bracelets we all used to get so crazy about. String-em together, wear them as a necklace, all the way up your wrists and on your ankles; it didn't matter how, you just had to have them. Nostalgia made me do it. I bought twenty or so in black and wore them for the rest of the day. Little did I know, by wearing a set of black jelly bracelets, I was apparently sending a message to a younger generation. And apparently that message, in addition to being "pathetic attempt to relive my youth," was "Hey everyone, I like sex. What won't I do?"  Yup, these silly colorful pieces of plastic are used nowadays to send the following little sexual "I will" shout outs to passersby:Yellow: hug Purple: kiss Red: lap dance Blue: oral sex Black: any which way I can There's even a game called Snap which allows any boy to break the bracelet off of a girl's wrist and obtain that sexual act as a coupon. So what have we learned here? Yes, exactly. I'm an oblivious consumer.  It's Official: Underwear in Public Is Not IndecentA Massachusetts court has declared that being stripped down to your skivvies in public does not constitute indecency. "How did the court in Cambridge, Massachusetts come to this conclusion?" you may be asking. (If you're not, you should be.) It turns out that six members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) decided that a nearly naked pillow fight near Harvard was the best way they could protest the wearing of fur. In March. In Massachusetts. Yeesh. Anywho, they were arrested for indecency and disturbing the peace. But six months later, the judge threw out the indecency charges, thus securing the legal precedent that you too can bandy about in your boxers in Cambridge without a care in the world. There was no clarification on whether or not you have to be engaged in a pillow fight at the time.  80 Men Caught With Their Pants DownThe Johannesburg police got a cheap thrill recently when they were tipped off to some illicit drug activities at a local men's club in New Doornfontein known as "The Factory." What the police found when they came busting through the door was 80 naked men, save for a few wearing their socks and shoes. While they were correctly tipped off that there would be drugs, no one bothered to tell them that the patrons have a themed nudist night. Guess where the drugs were?  Nudity We'd Like to See, PreciousIn the midst of Liv Tyler's pregnancy, already rumors abound across the internet that Liv is considering a naked photo shoot following her child's birth. Liv and her hubbie Royston expect their baby's arrival in November, so Liv is supposedly using the photo shoot as an excuse to lose weight in time for the New Year. Apparently she's not an avid fan of the gym scene. Friends of Ms. Tyler say that she's worried about what the after affects of passing a tiny human through her body will be. Because nothing has been confirmed or denied, all we can do in the meantime is continue to hope and use Adobe software to paste her head onto other women's naked bodies.
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