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 Madison and the Angry InchAll Michael Abercrombie of Columbia, Missouri wanted was a gender reassignment surgery. Jack Wayne Rogers, 59, of Fulton, Missouri promised him a four hour gender-reassignment procedure. The surgery lasted more than four hours and complications developed when Abecrombie began to bleed. Two years later, Abercrombie, now known as Madison, must undergo additional surgeries in order to complete her gender-reassignment. Perhaps Abercrombie's first clue that Rogers might have been practicing without a license was the offer to perform the surgery in a hotel room. Or maybe even Rogers' former church minister and Boy Scout Leader pedophile status. Oh, and let's not forget the cannibalism in his criminal history. Or the porn collection peppered with photos of severed genitals. "I didn't know his motivation when I went into it," Abercrombie said. "I was under a lot of emotional stress, and it seemed like there was no alternative." Rogers has been sentenced to 17 years in prison for first-degree assault and practicing medicine without a license. His time will run concurrently with a 30-year sentence already issued in April after Rogers plead guilty to child pornography and obscenity charges. He is still being investigated in the torture and killing of a Skidmore man. Even though the man's necklace was found by the police on Rogers' property, Rogers denies the killing.  Sued by the Ex…the Ex-Mobster, the Ex-Boyfriend,the Ex-Convict… You date someone for five years, and you'd think you know them pretty well. 35 year old Long Island divorcee Victoria Hines thought she had bagged herself a rich telecommunications executive. But when she found out that her boyfriend, Mel Cooper, 57, was really a convicted loan shark associated with Gambino mobster Carlo Vaccarezza, she high-tailed it out of the relationship. So he's suing. Yes, you read that correctly. He is suing for the sum of $392,000, which is the amount of money he says he ever spent on her, plus interest. (A loan shark charging interest? Scandalous!) Included in that total is a $75,000 diamond ring which Cooper claims was an engagement ring. This is how he is able to take the case to court; state judges can order that engagement gifts be returned if the proposed marriage never happens. One little snag though: she sold everything shortly after learning of Cooper's 10-year jail stay and mobster affiliations. He says he popped the question, she says he never asked nor was it implied. This just goes to show you, ask for conviction records up front and on the first date, people! Especially if his name is something like Vito the Clam or Vinny the Squirrel.  Women Reclaim Their Desire with an Impossibly Long ComponentDehydroepiandrosterone. Say that three times fast. Even scientists prefer to call it DHEA. Some women just prefer to call it "mine." Oral DHEA is the new-fangled snake oil of the day, supposedly curing women of everything from wrinkles to memory loss. However, the only thing it's actually been proven to improve, using official scientific methods of some sort, is a woman's sexual appetite. So Dr. Karen Altay, an endocrinologist at Alexian Brothers Medical Center in Bloomingdale, Ill, made it into a vaginal gel. In a small study, Dr Altay proved that there was a 50 percent increase in libido for women lacking the androgen hormone as opposed to those who received the placebo cream. "It stands to reason that if you are able to deliver anything at the direct site where you want it to work, you're going to have a better effect than taking it orally," Altay said. Meanwhile, other androgen-challenged women await a cream they can instead rub on their partner to make them go back to sleep.  Sad Day for California NecrophiliacsCalifornia Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has just signed a bill banning sex with corpses. While no one can say how big the necrophilia problem is in California, the problem was big enough for prosecutors who were unable to charge necrophiliacs with having sex with dead folks. "Prosecutors didn't have anything to charge these people with other than breaking and entering. But if they worked in a mortuary in the first place, prosecutors couldn't even charge them with that," Tyler Ochoa, a professor at Santa Clara University School of Law who has studied California cases involving allegations of necrophilia. The state tried previously to outlaw necrophilia in a case involving a man caught having sex with the corpse of a 4 year old girl. This attempt was stalled last year in a legislative committee. The bill was entered again this year in response to a failed attempt to prosecute a man found drunk in a San Francisco funeral home and passed out on top of an elderly woman's corpse. This new law makes necrophilia punishable by up to eight years in prison.  Cows to Deliver Moral TurpitudeSpaamwoude, not only a delightfully fun word, is the Dutch town where a lot of people are apparently gettin' their grove on in the big wide open. Mayor Ellen van Hoogdalem-Arkema, yet another fun set of syllables, says that the answer is cows. Of course! Cows. Yes. "Visitors experience great annoyance from people having sex in public and apparently the presence of the cows turns the people off having sex," the mayor said. Cows? Cows. Was there any sort of scientific study as to exactly why a cow could be great turn-off? Funny you should ask. Apparently, a nature reserve south of Amsterdam saw a drastic reduction in public sex when they let the cows run amuck in the pasture. Public sex is a fairly big problem in the little town of Spaamwoude. "I just got off the phone with a man who was cycling in the area with his children, when suddenly two naked men came running across the road," Hoogdalem-Arkema added with a sigh. Send in the cows.
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